Help Wanted : Kaiser Assistant
by Chibi-A
Summary: When the Kaiser puts out a Help Wanted ad for a human assistant, he gets the strange people from the Neopet message boards!


You know the drill, I don't own NOTHING! A little happy fic to try drown out the angst fics I've wrote!  
  
A few cameos. I used the people I know on Neopets...or, at least all of the scary ones...and myself!  
  
*** Title: Kaiser's Assistant Wanted! ***  
  
The Digimon Kaiser tapped his foot impatient. "Wormon!" The 11 year old boy yelled. "Where's the newspaper!"  
  
"Coming!" His Digimon brought him a newspaper, and the Kaiser opened it up to the 'Help Wanted' ads. "Good. 'An Assistant for the Digimon Kaiser is wanted. Must be able to travel to and from the Digital World. Evil is a must.'"  
  
The door bell rang. (No, I guess there wouldn't be a door bell in a large, floating castle. But now there is.) Wormon came back, a few moments later, with a girl.  
  
The girl had black hair, and was certainly dressed to be an assistant to the Kaiser. "You know why I'm here," she said, bored. "So?"  
  
"How old are you?" The Kaiser asked.  
  
"13." The girl said.  
  
"What's your name?" He asked.  
  
The girl rolled her eyes. "My name is not important." She said, as if everybody knew that. "I'm called m@RiGoLd. And I-"  
  
"AHA!" A loud male voice suddenly cried out.  
  
m@RiGoLd spun around to see a boy with icy blue hair, standing at the door, pointing accusingly at her.  
  
"Crap..." m@RiGoLd muttered, outloud she then said, "I thought I locked you in that closet, Wolf?"  
  
The boy made a face. "aMeLiAkAmIyA was RIGHT! You *are* evil!"  
  
m@RiGoLd rolled her eyes. "First time in a while that she's been right..."  
  
Wolf grabbed m@RiGoLd and pulled her towards the exit, meanwhile, the Kaiser blinked.  
  
"O...kay..." He glanced at Wormon. " Wasn't there anyone else?"  
  
Wormon brought another girl in, a girl with pink hair in pigtails. "Hi!" The girl bounced in. "My name is Chibi-A!...well, the second one, that is. NeoChibiA told me that if I used her name again, she'd hurt me."  
  
The Kaiser raised his eyebrows. "Uh...huh." He said. "how old are you?"  
  
"I'm 14!" Chibi-A said happily. "I am also-"  
  
"YOU!" Chibi-A turned around to see another girl, who looked a bit like her, only with black hair.  
  
"Oh...NeoChibiA...hi!" Chibi-A greeted.  
  
NeoChibiA marched over and grabbed Chibi-A by an ear. "C-a! Do you know what you did!?" NeoChibiA cried.  
  
"Nu," C-a shook her head. "Tell me, N.C-A, what did I do?"  
  
"YOU WERE CONSPIRING AGAINST ME!" N.C-A cried. "YOU AND THE KAISER!!! Speaking of which..."  
  
N.C-A let go of C-a and grabed the Kaiser's ear painfully. "You! " She then kissed the Kaiser on the cheek. "You're cute!"  
  
She grabbed C-a and then marched out of the room.  
  
With his eyebrows raised high, the Kaiser looked at Wormon.  
  
"There's another girl..." Wormon showed that girl in.  
  
She had strawberry blonde hair, which was in a high pony tail. " 'ello, " She said. "My name is Lana. I sometimes go by Lana_Amata. I'm evil, I'm mean, and I wanna help you be evil."  
  
The Kaiser tilted his head to the side. "Have you got people following you?" He asked, not forgetting Wolf or NeoChibiA.  
  
Lana blinked. "Well...there's one person. She's the most powerful person in the DigiWorld, 'sides me, that is." She admitted." She's also the most oddest Annoyer...she's quite annoying, you know?"  
  
"That's...great." The Emperor said.  
  
"YO!"  
  
There was a *POP!* and a girl appeared. She had dark brown hair and wore normal, teen age clothes (unlike the others who had worn the strangest...), but held a white orb in her hands. Her name happened to be aMeLiAkAmIyA. "Lana! Your an evil BISH!" She cried out. "And this is for the tree!-*WAM*- and this is for Wolf!-*WAM*-and this is for Chibi-A's Digimon, Usamon-*WAM*- and this is for my Gatomon-*WAM*-and this is for ME!-*WAM**WAM*!"  
  
She hit Lana repeated over the head with a...sponge, and then disappeared again.  
  
*POP!* She reappeared and grabbed Lana, then disappeared again.  
  
The Emperor and Wormon blinked. "You know..."The Emperor said slowly." I really can do the extra work. I don't NEED an assistant."  
  
Wormon nodded.  
  
"Now!" He ordered. "Give me the telephone! *takes phone and dials in a number* "  
  
"Hello, this is Gamers, Digiko speaking nyo. How can I help you nyo?"  
  
"I would like a 4 A.M. wake up call for Kouji Minamoto," Ken ordered. "And twentysix large all-toping pizza's for the following people...m@RiGoLd, Wolf, Chibi-A, NeoChibiA, Lana_Amata, and aMeLiAkAmIyA...."  
  
The voice on the other end stammered. "Pizza and a wake up call nyo?"  
  
"DO YOU DEFY ME?"  
  
"EYE BEAM!" Through the phone, a bright light came through, burning Ken to a crisp. "Have a nice day nyo!" Click.  
  
~~~  
  
In a far, far away place, Chibi-A sighed at her new part-time job at the newspaper office, pulling out the ads that were supposed to run for a week. She blinked at one that ws supposed to go into the 'Help Wanted'. 'An Assistant for the Digimon Kaiser is wanted. Must be able to travel to and from the Digital World. Evil is a must'.  
  
Smirking evily, she slipped it into the 'Personals' section.  
  
Ken got strange phone calls for weeks.  
  
*** Ha, take THAT, my neopet's friends! Many cameos!  
  
Hope you liked it! 


End file.
